The G8 summit and stuff

The green trend has reached the highest echelons of economic policy makers. Europe and Japan have finally started coaxing the U.S.’s illustrious president into discussing reducing carbon emissions. I will break down what I’ve taken in about this meeting into a simple and easy-to-understand metaphor.

The world’s population is a colossal fat-ass. He has been eating to cope with feelings of inferiority. The sun doesn’t love our planet like it loves Mercury, and He isn’t as successful as big brother Jupiter. So the earth consumes. A lot.

So now, the earth is at serious risk of heart disease, diabetes, and certain forms of cancer, but that’s not its concern, or at least that’s not the concern that it’s voicing the loudest. No, the concern seems to be that it costs too much to put clothes on the fat son of a bitch.

So what’s the plan? God forbid the earth completely rethinks its consumption-levels. No! for the time being the earth’ll keep up its consumption until the food that’s killing it runs out. Good decision.

To keep up with this line of metaphor, the G8 guys met to discuss this problem. Their discussion illustrates on a micro level, what I just described on a macro level.

Now that global warming is driving up fuel costs, its time for the richest nations to consider addressing the problem. That is, except for the good ol’ US of A. Our divinely ordained leader agreed to join talks about solving the climate change crisis if India and China agree to the same terms the U.S. does.

In this situation, America is like a fat man who will lose his foot from diabetes telling a starving child that they can’t eat chocolate (which may or may not be the only food source available to said child) because he can’t. I’ll grant that the energy crisis must be addressed in developing nations, but America is going to go blind and lose both feet before China or India are in a position to deal with it.

Long story short, get your check-ups. Diabetes can suck pretty bad.

Related Link: http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSL0354034920080707