MattRamone
Flailing white pre teens
I hope their plugs get ripped out
Make them cry for real
Scientistrock
Death by Senses Fail
Hell's fire could not be worse.
I hope death is swift.
MattRamone
I will greet you sir
On the haiku battlefield
I'll bring
Scientistrock
The gauntlet is thrown.
Prepare for my victory.
Epic fail is yours.
MattRamone
Before the day ends
You will shed tears like Pete Wentz
Call the wahmbulance
Scientistrock
And so it begins.
Are you ready for this, Matt?
Triumph will be mine.
MattRamone
When Ronnie Radke
Is in the prison shower
Won't fail to drop soap
Scientistrock
Max Bemis is Stoked
Whenever we mention him.
Too bad he's a fag.
MattRamone
When news is posted
I look for where someone exclaims
"GASLIGHT ANTHEM LEAKED!!!!"
Scientistrock
Brain Fallon's dick
Like sugar fresh from the cane.
He makes me confused.
MattRamone
We're all gay for him
Looks like we'll have to settle
For twin Thus_Spoke_Sean
Scientistrock
Sleeve-tats to knuckles
Bring me to the
Where they made me gay.
MattRamone
Onto other news
Saul William's an asshole
Enjoy your Nike's
Scientistrock
Metro Staion is
The worst thing to ever be.
And that includes aids.
MattRamone
Not really all that tragic
One down, four to go
Scientistrock
Victory Records
Is Satan's dick of music.
May they all die soon.
MattRamone
Attention AP
13 year old girls are not
The most critical fans
Scientistrock
Hot Water Music
Reunited and AP
Gave some douche the front.
MattRamone
I listen to them
Pretty much exclusively
I'm slow, old, and strange
Scientistrock
Saw them and some dudes
From some shitty band from the
Windiest of towns.
MattRamone
Speaking of feelings
Brought on by men with sleeve tats
I woudl touch Brendan
Scientistrock
His dick is smaller
Than Chris's (some interview).
Not proud to know that.
MattRamone
New Hopeless bands, though...
I want to stab their eyeballs
With a cigarette
Scientistrock
Yeah, what the hell, man?
Versus God! Fucking...Come on!
"Let's scream or something."
MattRamone
It's appropriate
At their nadir they sign a
Band called All Time Low
Scientistrock
No Idea will
Someday sign a shitty band,
And our world will end.
MattRamone
I hope on that day
I will be found sitting
Six feet underground
Scientistrock
Or at least buried
In empty cans, blue ribbons
Upon them, crying.
MattRamone
When some emo teen
Posts "no idea r00lz u gais!"
I will kill myself
Scientistrock
No Idea Records
Signs "Blood bleeds like bloody blood."
Bullets enter me.
MattRamone
"Red Scare Morphs Into
A Straight Edge Hardcore Label"
I bleed in the tub
Scientistrock
"Asian Man Records
Moves out of Mike Park's garage."
The world really ends.
MattRamone
Virgil announces
That vinyl's a dead format
Life's not worth it now
Scientistrock
Don't even say that.
I'd rather be dead than live
In that kind of world.
MattRamone
Punk seven inches
Are what make the world go 'round
CD EPs blow
Scientistrock
What is the point of
A CDEP? There is
So much waste right there.
MattRamone
It's like restaurants
That use huge plates for small food
Fuck, what's the point, man?
Scientistrock
No colored CDs.
Man, that shit's fucking boring.
Give me red splatter!
MattRamone
The new Fake Problems
Splatter seven inch record
Is hot like org girls
Scientistrock
The cutest org girl
Couldn't beat the beauty of
My Larries' LPs.
MattRamone
I have Apathy
On clear green. I paid eight bucks.
Suck it, record nerds.
Just how did I miss
a PunkNews haiku contest?
How do I get in?
MattRamone
Scientistrock might
Call a new one tomorrow
Step up to the streets
Scientistrock
If you are willing,
I will throw down yet again.
I am unemployed.
MattRamone
Having a girlfriend
Who pays almost all the bills
Is fucking awesome
HumanUnkind
quote unquote becomes
a part of the warner group
punk is really dead
MattRamone
Sire signs Against Me!
That will not ever happen
...oh Christ on a crutch
Scientistrock
BTMI puts
Out a physical release.
Oh shit! We're too late!
HumanUnkind
O Pioneers!!! drop
an exclamation mark or
two! no not really!!!
Scientistrock
We up the punx by
Upping the punxuation
To paraphrase Jeff.
ForgetThisPlace
I would still bang him
And it's not gay because I'm
one of the few girls.
Scientistrock
I would do the same
But it's totally not gay
Because you get one.
MattRamone
I always forget
That females post on this site
We're essentially pigs
Scientistrock
Last Navel Gazing
Scared new ones away I bet.
Beard dudes salivate.
ForgetThisPlace
Some beards can be hot.
Along with full-sleeve tattoos.
Sean: new 'org heartthrob?
Scientistrock
He looks like Fallon.
Tricked some of the dudes like Me.
We're gay for gaslight.
ForgetThisPlace
Does that make him the
'Unisex 'org fantasy'?
Guys and girls both drool.
ScientistRock
He is creeped out now.
Oh well, does anyone care?
Hold onto your butt!
ForgetThisPlace
The 'org: Sausage fest.
Bound to be guy on guy love.
Little bit creepy.
Scientistrock
Hence why we explode
When girls announce their presence.
Boners must abound!
ForgetThisPlace
Girls are hard to find.
Always mistaken for dudes.
I need a smoke...man.
MattRamone
We can't help the fact
That we're all so damn studly
And punk girls dig jerks
He is a hottie
He and acris should have kids
They would be gorgeous
Oh hai thurr qt
I like Avail and drinking
Don't care you're 16
Scientistrock
Too bad we all got
Beer guts like pregnant women.
And my beard gets gross.
MattRamone
A beer gut's a sign
That we know how to party
Moshing is fitness
Scientistrock
You screw like you dance.
What does that mean for us punks?
It sure ain't pretty.
MattRamone
I hit my girlfriend
During sex. She responds with
Karate spin kicks
Scientistrock
It's just a push fest.
Bodies fly everywhere.
I'm kicked in the head.
MattRamone
I'm sure that this Fest
Will be one big dot ORGy
Beards and lube for all
sXenester
Hello, Fred Knuckles
Craig Finn fighting Sir Fallon
Everywhere, we cum
Scientistrock
Brother v brother.
How can I pick the right side?
Either way we lose.
sXenester
Old men, shoes, cliche,
longwinded, springsteen, and etc
kill me, joe
Scientistrock
Don't fuck with
Those landfills ain't just garbage
If you get my drift.
MattRamone
Not saying that we'll
Do something, but shit happens
People fall down stairs
Scientistrock
They’re building a new
Giants Stadium, right now.
Don't get Hoffa'd yo.
Lostandclowned
Mike has not called yet
I am watching "The Wire."
This is a haiku.
Scientistrock
Who's to say that we
Need to practice today yo?
There's still tomorrow.
Lostandclowned
That may very well be
But I feel like it today
Where did this joke start?
Scientistrock
MattRamone haiku'd
In one of yesterday's bad
Bands' megatour threads.
HumanUnkind
haikus are punk rock
just like pbr and tats,
chin beards and gaslight
Scientistrock
They are the punkest
Of poetic forms you know.
They would have mohawks.
MattRamone
And scream "fuck you, dad!"
While wearing a flannel shirt
And a Castro hat
HumanUnkind
blank verse is emo
reading it is like crying
when you hear dashboard
MattRamone
It's not poetry
If it's just sentence fragments
Kids today suck it
Scientistrock
No man was punker
Than Masaoka Shiki.
Walt Whitman, emo.
MattRamone
Walt Whitman sucks hard
So does Thoreau. My Amer.
Lit class was not great
Scientistrock
I can handle them
Both, but I have to because
Lit is all I take.
HumanUnkind
Imagism rocks
short poems by some great minds
Ezra pound rocks
MattRamone
I prefer lyrics
According to my girlfriend.
She's probably right.
Scientistrock
I'm more into prose.
John Steinbeck is why I write.
I don't get poems.
HumanUnkind
Poems are not fun
nathanael west is the best
he only wrote books
Lostandclowned
worker bees can leave
even drones can fly away
the queen is their slave
(Plagiarize much, ed.)
Scientistrock
Not doing to well at this
Game of Baseball, geez.
(I believe the
Lostandclowned
i have never read
"Walden" in full. However,
I have read parts.
In a summary
i read, i liked the part on
the depth of the pond.
Scientistrock
I "read"
I did not really read it.
I talk good bull shit.
Lostandclowned
i haven't used my hand
to count more since learning how
to borrow in math.
Scientistrock
Not sure I buy that.
How did you jerk off Dave Grohl?
You just got pwn'd bitch!
Time to go running,
But I will return with more
Haikus than before!
MattRamone
I call a draw, sir
Blood was drawn, secret's confessed
Enjoy your respite
Lostandclowned
Scientistrock v.
MattRamone v. lostandclowned
(Hell in a Cell Match)
Scientistrock
I agree, a draw.
You're a formidable foe.
Until next time then.
Softcoreseizure
Neat. I also run
Didn't know there were others
Fuck bike punx, I'm broke
MattRamone
Up the haiku punx
Our syllables smash the state
Poetry is 'core
Scientistrock
http://www.punknews.org/article/30036
The answers you seek
Can be found within comments
That were posted here.
MattRamone
This band is awful
Scientistrock must agree
Haiukus = best smackdown
VeganboyJosh
rates for ads on threads
about anti-flag are now
more expensive. thanks.
scientistrock and
mattramone are to blame for
more threads about crap.
Scientistrock
To be quite honest
There is not too much hate for
This band. Boring though.
Veganboyjosh
kneel's haiku is fail.
the syllables are all wrong.
please now do over.
3 comments:
Insane Clown Posse is the worst thing ever. Have you seen the video where they fake kung fu fight cops in a shoe store? It gives me an anti-boner.
That said, I was subjected on a near weekly basis to "Homies" in college due to a friend with a twisted sense of humor. I used to put loud porno on loop and then leave for my daily classes, locking the door.
My internet radio co-host and I challenged the posse to a rap off. They didn't show. So not only does their music suck, but they are cowards.
I'm glad someone else has nothing to do on a Thursday night.
I'm watching "Cruising" and it's hilariously awful.
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