Fillings and Shit

God fucking damn it! Today I had to get some fillings because my teeth are weak (or bad oral hygiene, but my oral hygiene is average at worst). Anyway, it took four syringes of Novocaine before the dentist was convinced that my mouth was fine. The result was drool all over my face, me speaking like someone with an extra Y-chromosome, and BLINDING FUCKING PAIN when the dentist put the drill in my tooth.

The pain was really intense. But the dentist said that it was partly mental. It wasn't. I'm something of a man of science, a scienced-ologist if you will, so I don't really believe in physical pain being mental. The pain was from the drill screeching into my tooth nerve. But her saying that got me thinking, maybe it wasn't the pain that made me want to kill everyone around me today. Maybe it's the searing boredom. Long Island offers me very little these days, and I just can't wait to be gone.

You know what, that's probably the SEARING PAIN talking.

RIP Steve Foley

I don't know how regularly I'll publish things like this, but I think this is an important guy to talk about.

Steve Foley passed away this weekend in Minneapolis.

Foley was the drummer for the Replacements after original drummer Chris Mars quit the band. His tenure with the band was brief, and produced no recorded output, but he was undeniably a part of one of the most important bands in modern rock history.

I'd imagine that most readers of this blog are already fairly familiar with the Replacements, but in the event that you aren't, get yourself familiar with them. Pretty much every band I listen to post-1984 owes a debt to the 'Mats.

Rest in peace Mr. Foley.

Janice Dickinson: What an Awful Thing for Everything

I may not be everyone's image of a feminist, but I like to think of myself as part of the solution when it comes to sexuality equality. Yeah, a bearded dude with a gut is one of many faces of feminism. Deal with that sexists! Anyway, two years at Emerson College has had one major impact on me, and that is that I view pretty much everything from the feminist stand point (in that I analyze most media in terms of sex and gender.)

This brings me to my next diatribe. What the fuck is the Oxygen Network (a network that, if I am not mistaken, is specifically geared towards women[which is a whole other sexual issue]) doing with The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency?

For those who are not as well-informed in the area of former stars sucking the last drops of fame juice from the fame tree as I am, Janice Dickinson was "The World's first super model." She as abused as a Child, and instead of rising above it, she went headlong into the world of fame; promiscuous, unprotected sex with multiple partners; and cocaine (I'm not sure on this, but we can assume it's true). She got herself knocked up, and had just assumed the father was Sylvester Stallone, but was proven wrong by a paternity test. But all of this is really just personal garbage that really isn't of any import to me or my women's equality.

What is important, is that she was a model. At some point in her life she realized that looks was where she had it. Okay, part of how this world works is getting paid for your assets, that is true for both men and women. No harm, no foul. But as a supermodel, she is at least partly responsible for the world we live in now where women (and to a lesser extent men) are forced to compare themselves on a daily basis to the most fantastic looking of their kind. At best, that shows a lack of real understanding of the impact of her decisions, at worst, she doesn't care (she probably doesn't care).

And then, there's her current face. The woman is pushing 60 years old and obviously fears it. Her lips are clearly enhanced, as are her breasts and most of the rest of her. Her face is expressionless and taut like a sail caught in a draft or some such thing, and she behaves like a prima donna. Her image and behavior resist the natural aging process, telling us that beauty is a trait more desirable than any other.

Is it fair of me to pick on one woman, perhaps not. Many women are guilty of similar behavior, but none of them have a TV show, which leads me to the next half of this screed.

Modeling is an industry that commodifies beauty, then uses beauty (which you either have or not) to convince other people to try and become more beautiful. It's a money thing, you're all smart enough to know it. The participants are reduced to hunks of beauty, and there is no doubt that this has a more serious (and dangerous) impact on women.

So why does Oxygen give this woman a platform to relay this message? This doubtlessly sets back any chance at sexual equality. Sure, there are male models involved, but that might just point to the fact that the idea of modeling should be reconsidered in its entirety. Anyway, Janice Dickinson's modeling agency seems anti-feminist. That and looking at that face makes me punchy.

Man, Fuck the Medical Industry

It's time for us to call out the world's biggest failures. The Medical industry has sat on their fat, impotent asses trying to make them thin and virile for far too long. People suffer every day, but fifty + year old men can get boners. That's totally fair.

But what makes their apparent priority issue worse is the overwhelming amount a fluid currently trying to work its way out of me. I'm only human, and therefore can only prevent these fluids from seeping out of two, maybe three orifices at a time.

And why must I suffer so? Because some dude's boner is more important than my cold. Whatever.

The common cold has plagued mankind for millenia, and these fuckers have let it slip by uncured. And why? Because the money's in the treatment! Don't give me your "The Common cold is a constantly shifting virus that never occurs the same way twice" because you're just part of the conspiracy to keep my head foggy and hurty. I recommend that all readers refuse to pay their copays, and steal any necessary medication (from dumpsters if neccessary) until the cure for the common cold is discovered. Refuse doctor's care if possible, because they must be held responsible.

Guess what this one's about

So the new Gaslight record is blowing up, and I'm a huge fanboy. They signed my CD and remembered me from the Cambridge show. Sweet

Anyway, I just want to throw this idea out there, and let people comment if they wish. Someone in an itunes review of the '59 Sound said that Gaslight is definitely not the next Clash, but are definitely the next Replacements.

I ask this: Who's to say that the Clash are better than the Replacements? I don't believe that. I'll take ANY replacements record over the best Clash records, and I'll take Gaslight over them both. But why do we hold these bands up so high? Why is it so offensive to call a band the new Clash? Isn't that what punk rock was against? Thoughts?

The '59 Sound

So yesterday, or possibly at this point two days ago, I posted that video of that nut-grabbingly amazing band, the Gaslight Anthem. Those dudes have a new record out that means more to me than words can really describe right now, but man am I gonna try.

For all my love of this band, it took a while for them to grow on me. I first remember hearing the songs from Sink or Swim streaming on their myspace page. They were all right, but a little too "throwback" for my tastes. Then there were rumors that the boys from New Brunswick were going to be opening for Hot Water Music at the New Jersey reunion show. That was a crock of shit, but I used it as an excuse to actively try and get into them. That attempt worked. After weeks of listening to the full album stream on Punknews.org, I decided that the record in question was definitely going to force me to redo my end of '07 albums list.

Then I saw them open for the Loved Ones. Essentially they were all over me because I was ballsy enough to wear a Giants hat to a concert in Boston a few weeks after the Superbowl. They had my undying fandom after that.

The Senor and the Queen came out in March, and as far as I'm concerned the songs beat the songs on Sink or Swim.

And so here we are. For the first time in my memory, I was there at a relatively early point in a band's development. They had a new record coming out, and they were going to be playing a couple of shows around my neck of the woods around its release.

The record leaked back in June, and like bazillions of others, I downloaded it illegally and was blown away immediately. By the chorus of the opening number, "Great Expectations", I had tears welling up in my eyes. The album struck a very poignant emotional chord. The music set a somber tone. Vocalist Brian Fallon's delivery was anthemic and beautiful and perfectly carried the emotional weight of the songs. The record warranted multiple purchases. To date I've purchased the record four times, and I will buy any further pressings on vinyl.

After four listens, I deleted the mp3s. I didn't want to ruin the record for myself. I waited until seeing them live to hear these songs again.

At the show, the songs had the same effect as on the record. I spent much of the show wiping tears from my eyes (which some people saw fit to make fun of me for, asshats). I picked up my black vinyl copy of the LP.

Since the show, I have listened to the record a great deal, and have started to figure out what it is about it that makes it mean so much to me. Brian Fallon writes songs about heartbreak and dreaming of something better. Gaslight's songs aren't self-righteous political screeds set to overly simplistic chord progressions. They aren't clichéd hate letters to the women who've done wrong. They are honest expressions of something that I know I have trouble expressing, but somehow this guy from Jersey can do it for me.

Never before has a record expressed something that, for me, is inexpressible. The songs on The '59 Sound force the emotions stuck inside of me out, and that is why, more than any record before, this record hasn't left my turntable for any extended period.

I strongly recommend that anyone who reads this get this if they haven't already. I doubt too many of you haven't unless more people are turned to this from not punknews than I think.

Well, that was self-indulgent of me, but I had to write this.

Oh, and the record comes out today.


EDIT: Guess who got coverage in the New York Times!

The Gaslight Anthem

No Words.

Escape the Fate

So the dude from Escape the Fate got arrested for letting someone die (oversimplification? Probably not). Anyway, the waste of sperm has been blogging from prison, and it is the funniest fucking thing ever. I am posting it here along with some other junk to show the ridiculousness of this man and his band to my extensive readership.

Radke's myspace



Please, watch this. It's horrendo.

Some Punknews Haikus

So on August the 12th in the year of our lord 2008, Punknews' favorite son, MattRamone, challenged yours truly to a haiku-off. I accepted. Here are the results as best I could find them on the website. Thank you to all contributers. The word document I copied them into was 15 pages long.

MattRamone

Flailing white pre teens
I hope their plugs get ripped out
Make them cry for real

Scientistrock

Death by Senses Fail
Hell's fire could not be worse.
I hope death is swift.

MattRamone

I will greet you sir
On the haiku battlefield
I'll bring Capri Sun

Scientistrock

The gauntlet is thrown.
Prepare for my victory.
Epic fail is yours.

MattRamone

Before the day ends
You will shed tears like Pete Wentz
Call the wahmbulance

Scientistrock

And so it begins.
Are you ready for this, Matt?
Triumph will be mine.

MattRamone

When Ronnie Radke
Is in the prison shower
Won't fail to drop soap

Scientistrock

Max Bemis is Stoked
Whenever we mention him.
Too bad he's a fag.

MattRamone

When news is posted
I look for where someone exclaims
"GASLIGHT ANTHEM LEAKED!!!!"

Scientistrock

Brain Fallon's dick
Like sugar fresh from the cane.
He makes me confused.

MattRamone

We're all gay for him
Looks like we'll have to settle
For twin Thus_Spoke_Sean

Scientistrock

Sleeve-tats to knuckles
Bring me to the Middle East
Where they made me gay.

MattRamone

Onto other news
Saul William's an asshole
Enjoy your Nike's

Scientistrock

Metro Staion is
The worst thing to ever be.
And that includes aids.

MattRamone

Hawthorne Heights O.D.
Not really all that tragic
One down, four to go

Scientistrock

Victory Records
Is Satan's dick of music.
May they all die soon.

MattRamone

Attention AP
13 year old girls are not
The most critical fans

Scientistrock

Hot Water Music
Reunited and AP
Gave some douche the front.

MattRamone

I listen to them
Pretty much exclusively
I'm slow, old, and strange

Scientistrock

Saw them and some dudes
From some shitty band from the
Windiest of towns.

MattRamone

Speaking of feelings
Brought on by men with sleeve tats
I woudl touch Brendan

Scientistrock

His dick is smaller
Than Chris's (some interview).
Not proud to know that.

MattRamone

New Hopeless bands, though...
I want to stab their eyeballs
With a cigarette

Scientistrock

Yeah, what the hell, man?
Versus God! Fucking...Come on!
"Let's scream or something."

MattRamone

It's appropriate
At their nadir they sign a
Band called All Time Low

Scientistrock

No Idea will
Someday sign a shitty band,
And our world will end.

MattRamone

I hope on that day
I will be found sitting
Six feet underground

Scientistrock

Or at least buried
In empty cans, blue ribbons
Upon them, crying.

MattRamone

When some emo teen
Posts "no idea r00lz u gais!"
I will kill myself

Scientistrock

No Idea Records
Signs "Blood bleeds like bloody blood."
Bullets enter me.

MattRamone

"Red Scare Morphs Into
A Straight Edge Hardcore Label"
I bleed in the tub

Scientistrock

"Asian Man Records
Moves out of Mike Park's garage."
The world really ends.

MattRamone

Virgil announces
That vinyl's a dead format
Life's not worth it now

Scientistrock

Don't even say that.
I'd rather be dead than live
In that kind of world.

MattRamone

Punk seven inches
Are what make the world go 'round
CD EPs blow

Scientistrock

What is the point of
A CDEP? There is
So much waste right there.

MattRamone

It's like restaurants
That use huge plates for small food
Fuck, what's the point, man?

Scientistrock

No colored CDs.
Man, that shit's fucking boring.
Give me red splatter!

MattRamone

The new Fake Problems
Splatter seven inch record
Is hot like org girls

Scientistrock

The cutest org girl
Couldn't beat the beauty of
My Larries' LPs.

MattRamone

I have Apathy
On clear green. I paid eight bucks.
Suck it, record nerds.

Archangel

Just how did I miss
a PunkNews haiku contest?
How do I get in?

MattRamone

Scientistrock might
Call a new one tomorrow
Step up to the streets

Scientistrock

If you are willing,
I will throw down yet again.
I am unemployed.

MattRamone

Having a girlfriend
Who pays almost all the bills
Is fucking awesome

HumanUnkind

quote unquote becomes
a part of the warner group
punk is really dead

MattRamone

Sire signs Against Me!
That will not ever happen
...oh Christ on a crutch

Scientistrock

BTMI puts
Out a physical release.
Oh shit! We're too late!

HumanUnkind

O Pioneers!!! drop
an exclamation mark or
two! no not really!!!

Scientistrock

We up the punx by
Upping the punxuation
To paraphrase Jeff.

ForgetThisPlace

I would still bang him
And it's not gay because I'm
one of the few girls.

Scientistrock

I would do the same
But it's totally not gay
Because you get one.

MattRamone

I always forget
That females post on this site
We're essentially pigs

Scientistrock

Last Navel Gazing
Scared new ones away I bet.
Beard dudes salivate.

ForgetThisPlace

Some beards can be hot.
Along with full-sleeve tattoos.
Sean: new 'org heartthrob?

Scientistrock

He looks like Fallon.
Tricked some of the dudes like Me.
We're gay for gaslight.

ForgetThisPlace

Does that make him the
'Unisex 'org fantasy'?
Guys and girls both drool.

ScientistRock

He is creeped out now.
Oh well, does anyone care?
Hold onto your butt!

ForgetThisPlace

The 'org: Sausage fest.
Bound to be guy on guy love.
Little bit creepy.

Scientistrock

Hence why we explode
When girls announce their presence.
Boners must abound!

ForgetThisPlace

Girls are hard to find.
Always mistaken for dudes.
I need a smoke...man.

MattRamone

We can't help the fact
That we're all so damn studly
And punk girls dig jerks

He is a hottie
He and acris should have kids
They would be gorgeous

Oh hai thurr qt
I like Avail and drinking
Don't care you're 16

Scientistrock

Too bad we all got
Beer guts like pregnant women.
And my beard gets gross.

MattRamone

A beer gut's a sign
That we know how to party
Moshing is fitness

Scientistrock

You screw like you dance.
What does that mean for us punks?
It sure ain't pretty.

MattRamone

I hit my girlfriend
During sex. She responds with
Karate spin kicks

Scientistrock

It's just a push fest.
Bodies fly everywhere.
I'm kicked in the head.

MattRamone

I'm sure that this Fest
Will be one big dot ORGy
Beards and lube for all

sXenester

Hello, Fred Knuckles
Craig Finn fighting Sir Fallon
Everywhere, we cum

Scientistrock

Brother v brother.
How can I pick the right side?
Either way we lose.

sXenester

Old men, shoes, cliche,
longwinded, springsteen, and etc
kill me, joe Jackson

Scientistrock

Don't fuck with Jersey.
Those landfills ain't just garbage
If you get my drift.

MattRamone

Not saying that we'll
Do something, but shit happens
People fall down stairs

Scientistrock

They’re building a new
Giants Stadium, right now.
Don't get Hoffa'd yo.

Lostandclowned

Mike has not called yet
I am watching "The Wire."
This is a haiku.

Scientistrock

Who's to say that we
Need to practice today yo?
There's still tomorrow.

Lostandclowned

That may very well be
But I feel like it today
Where did this joke start?

Scientistrock

MattRamone haiku'd
In one of yesterday's bad
Bands' megatour threads.

HumanUnkind

haikus are punk rock
just like pbr and tats,
chin beards and gaslight

Scientistrock

They are the punkest
Of poetic forms you know.
They would have mohawks.

MattRamone

And scream "fuck you, dad!"
While wearing a flannel shirt
And a Castro hat

HumanUnkind

blank verse is emo
reading it is like crying
when you hear dashboard

MattRamone

It's not poetry
If it's just sentence fragments
Kids today suck it

Scientistrock

No man was punker
Than Masaoka Shiki.
Walt Whitman, emo.

MattRamone

Walt Whitman sucks hard
So does Thoreau. My Amer.
Lit class was not great

Scientistrock

I can handle them
Both, but I have to because
Lit is all I take.

HumanUnkind

Imagism rocks
short poems by some great minds
Ezra pound rocks

MattRamone

I prefer lyrics
According to my girlfriend.
She's probably right.

Scientistrock

I'm more into prose.
John Steinbeck is why I write.
I don't get poems.

HumanUnkind

Poems are not fun
nathanael west is the best
he only wrote books

Lostandclowned

worker bees can leave
even drones can fly away
the queen is their slave

(Plagiarize much, ed.)

Scientistrock

America is
Not doing to well at this
Game of Baseball, geez.

(I believe the US Olympic team lost to Korea, ed.)

Lostandclowned

i have never read
"Walden" in full. However,
I have read parts.

In a summary
i read, i liked the part on
the depth of the pond.

Scientistrock

I "read" Cape Cod, but
I did not really read it.
I talk good bull shit.

Lostandclowned

i haven't used my hand
to count more since learning how
to borrow in math.

Scientistrock

Not sure I buy that.
How did you jerk off Dave Grohl?
You just got pwn'd bitch!

Time to go running,
But I will return with more
Haikus than before!

MattRamone

I call a draw, sir
Blood was drawn, secret's confessed
Enjoy your respite

Lostandclowned

Scientistrock v.
MattRamone v. lostandclowned
(Hell in a Cell Match)

Scientistrock

I agree, a draw.
You're a formidable foe.
Until next time then.

Softcoreseizure

Neat. I also run
Didn't know there were others
Fuck bike punx, I'm broke

MattRamone

Up the haiku punx
Our syllables smash the state
Poetry is 'core

Scientistrock

http://www.punknews.org/article/30036

The answers you seek
Can be found within comments
That were posted here.

MattRamone

This band is awful
Scientistrock must agree
Haiukus = best smackdown

VeganboyJosh

rates for ads on threads
about anti-flag are now
more expensive. thanks.

scientistrock and
mattramone are to blame for
more threads about crap.

Scientistrock

To be quite honest
There is not too much hate for
This band. Boring though.

Veganboyjosh

kneel's haiku is fail.
the syllables are all wrong.
please now do over.

Ain't no College Grad Kids

I was contemplating titling this post "Feeling Gay: An Afternoon with Black Lips." But they didn't play that song, and there is already a picture associated with this post of a man with less pants than I am usually comfortable with.

Anyway, to the task at hand.

I saw these Atlanta based "flower punk"ers this afternoon for free. In his introduction, King Kahn referred to them as "the best rock and roll band since the Troggs." At first, this seemed like an exaggeration, but when I thought about it, it made sense. If you're favorite rock and roll band is the Troggs, then it is highly likely that Black Lips are the best band since.

They are also poised to take over the world.

I haven't really done my research on this, so I will back up this claim in later posts, but for now, I recommend that all two of my readers check out black lips before they own you.

Also check out anything King Kahn is associated with.