BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

http://idolator.com/5156528/at-what-point-does-the-fake-announcement-for-rock-of-love-danzig-cross-the-line-from-plausible-to-too-crazy-even-for-vh1

He's still Glenn Danzig, mother fucker.

Last Caress of Love

So, according to VH1, a fella from Lodi New Jersey named Glenn Danzig will be on the new season of Rock of Love. This is great. He better do to these girls what he claimed to do to Jacqueline Kennedy in the Misfits' great "Bullet." He's Glenn Danzig, motherfucker!

Two Years

Ladies and Gentlemen of my readership; today, February 8, 2009, marks the second anniversary of what (at least according to E!'s coverage) must have been America's greatest tragedy. So today, kind readers, remember Anna. God knows it shouldn't be hard. She's had such a huge impact on every one of our lives. Today I'm going to take trimspa and Quaaludes in her honor. Don't let the holy love of Anna Nicole Smith leave your heart.

Knee Jerk

So some guy was just on CNN talking about Guantanamo Bay, and I just have some things that need to be said about it.

Okay, the guy lost his son on 9/11. That's terrible. I had people close to me die on 9/11 too. The people who did that were bad people, and I definitely understand being upset at the masterminds, but guess what, the people in Gitmo weren't the masterminds of 9/11. They weren't anything. They were SUSPECTS. Do you know how American Justice works guy? It doesn't work like, "These guys have the same religious faith as 19 fanatics who flew planes into some buildings killing 3000 people, let's lock them up." It goes like this, "We think you may have done something, let's present the facts of what happened to a bunch of people and see what they think." That stuff didn't happen.

Here's another thing. What does jihad mean? Do you know? Because I do, and when you said it, I got the impression that you don't. Jihad means any struggle for the faith of Islam. Literally every muslim has a "jihad," but that doesn't mean they need to be locked up or they'll kill innocent Americans.

UGH! I know it isn't fair to take on one idiot with a big mouth, but 1) it's bullshit that they gave this guy time on CNN because he was obviously not informed AT ALL, 2) no patriotic American can support the existence of the Guantanamo Bay Detention Center. It goes against everything we believe. The Constitution has been fine about the due course of law for nearly 220 years. So anyone who is pissed that Guantanamo Bay is closing while flying the American flag is a hypocrite.

Cash, Money, Hoes

I'm selling some records.

This is based on only a cursory glance at my record collection of shit I don't listen to. I don't expect to fetch much, but I'm gonna need cash.

7"
The 4-Squares - Madman: Hardcore tinged punk from some dudes in Chicago. played once

Melvins - Hooch 7" picture disk. Played a few times, no art. This thing is pretty rare though.

Nirvana - Sliver bw Dive: Like anyone here wants this. Played once.

Pinhead Gunpowder - Fahizah EP: Like anyone doesn't have this. Played once. I like it, but not enough really.

12"

Roxy Music - Manifesto: This blows. I got it used.

Scritti Politti - Perfect Way: This also blows. I got this used too.

Nirvana - In Utero: Played once. What a shit pile.

Mudhoney - My Brother the Cow: Played twice.

Less Than Jake - Good Bye Blue and White: White Vinyl. Played Once. Not excited enough by this record.

Lagrecia - On Parallels: Seriously, don't care about this one anymore. It's the metallic grey one. Played once.

Horace Pinker - Power Tools: Bluish Green. I got it used.

Richard Hell and the Voidoids - Blank Generation: It's on Red. Played once. Don't care for it.

Defiance, Ohio - The Fear, The Fear, The Fear: Blue with black and white shit in there. Played once, didn't care for it.

Defiance, Ohio - The Great Depression: Maroon. Played once, liked it, but not more than I like affording food.

Crass - The Feeding of the 5000: Played maybe 5 times. I'm not a fifteen year-old self-proclaimed anarchist, so this doesn't do much for me anymore.

The Clash - Combat Rock: I got this used, need the money way more than I need to listen to this.

Circle Jerks - Group Sex: Blue Vinyl. Played once. Not in love with this record. Never was. Black Flag was the better band.

Avail - Satiate: Played once. I bought it from the guy in North Lincoln if that makes it more of a collector's item. I liked it, but not enough.

American Steel - Destroy Their Future: Okay, I didn't like this, make of that what you will. I played it once.

If you are interested in any of this, name your price and we can figure it out. I spent $250 for my comedy troupe last semester, and may not be getting that money back, so I'm sort of scrambling. Contact me in the comments.